It’s nearly two months since I shared a thought here! The few posts prior had been embarking on a revisit- series about climate change. I had the next 8 or so strips done, the next 15 scripted - I was feeling very on top of it. And now it is November.
So What is Up
It’s been a mental trip, for me. I’ve been strangely challenged by the very form - weeklyish 4-panel pieces, planned only loosely in advance - that I have found so useful over the last decade and a bit. That was confusing. I desire to use a longer form, to share longer ideas, to tell this GREAT story I’ve had cooking for three or four years, an actual fiction - but the fact is that my days are very full of work already. I’ve absolutely abandoned my education-focused newsletter, A Different Fish, and wonder a lot about what to do about my lack of rocket sauce. I wrote all of the above-mentioned planned series on a two week vacation. Since then, my spare time is about either work or non-verbal artistic endeavours like making rag rugs.
Not to mention the rest of it. Like many other people, I find my attention span struggling. Choosing a movie is hard, let alone reading a book. Things are tense, and we humans seem to be getting dumber in response. Our ability to learn is growing constantly, but all of the bounties are rolled into making more money, so tools like the internet and the arts and the news are being destroyed for dumb cash. It freaks me the fuck out to see the growing insanity - the predictable but unimaginable horrors in the Middle East, unending war, fascism continuing to rise, America’s suicidal vertigo, and most profoundly insane of all, a backlash to the tiny bit of progress made for the environment. A BACKLASH to saving the planet, ten minutes after the same leaders finally declared it an emergency. To be conscious of it all is to feel like a lemming stuck in a mob of lemmings. You can yell. It won’t help. Apparently this is us, and the best we could be is in the near past. Get ready for the cliff dive.
The kids are better than us: the ones I know are so smart, and informed by our mistakes and blind spots. They’re less broken and hateful, the ones who’ve benefited from real parenting - but they aren’t going to save us from the descent. They will suffer the results. The best of them, like the best of us, will keep ideas alive and keep up the effort for human improvement, but that’s a burdensome role, not any gift. Less progress and more survival. Interesting and worth doing, but a fucking shame. That’s my honest assessment right now. It breaks my heart if I let it.
So I pull back to the core, sole thing that makes sense: to focus on my community, to try and live right, and to share and model love. All of my art-making is with my students, finding out how to help them make silly movies and enjoy learning. I love my school and my coworkers and my partner and my cat and my family and my friends. So it’s not like I’m unhappy, or unfulfilled, or unproductive. I’m managing the overwhelm, bit it leaves me with less mojo. I’m trying to be okay with that. What choice do I have?
If it’s alright with you, I think I’ll spend some time posting old things. I have written a lot of comics - I’ll try and share the decent ones. The process may encourage me to type a bit with each post, which is something. And I’ll wait til I have the time and wherewithal to tackle big things.
Peace out. I hope you’re doing well, or surrounded by people, or finding a good way to pass the time, or doing something important.
jep
Some Music You Might Like
I’ve been batting around a thing about Holy Texts in music (transcendent albums about god) starting with the first one I knew of, A Love Supreme, and two others I love as much. One of them is the Blind Leading the Blind, a 4 movement piece of avant bluegrass by Punch Brothers. You can watch the movie about it (How to Grow a Band) or you can listen here:
Punch Brothers are still working, still amazing. Check them out. I’ll save the other holy texts for later. It is a good time for prayer.
-jep